Mommy Confessions: Go to your room

I have really surprised myself as a mom when it comes to the patience department.  My siblings would probably tell you that as a young person, I could be a bit volatile.  Like a dry match just looking for something to rub me the wrong way so that I could explode with dramatic flare.  Let's just say, there are very few moments in life that I look back on with regret, but they all include my blowing up and either making a fool of myself or really hurting close friends or family.  So I'm not sure if maturity, marriage, middle schoolers, God, or a combination of all 4 are to credit, but I think I've mellowed out.  There have been times, as a mom, that the old me would have gone off like a truckload of fireworks, but somehow I've managed to laugh or breathe through most situations.  Like this one...

Yeah, those would be my laptop keys on the floor

When I walked in and found him on the bed popping keys off one by one, all I could do was laugh on the inside.  However, as a parent, I know the importance of discipline and making sure he knew the gravity of the situation.  Part of me wanted to storm in, grab him by the shoulders, scream " have you LOST YOUR MIND?!!!" Instead I walked in, took his face in my hands and calmly explained that he was in trouble.  Upon hearing that he broke Mommy's computer and that it was very very bad...he started crying.  It might be the first time I've really seen him remorseful of what he had done.  So I chalked it up as a win for me.  No temper needed.  Just the facts.  You screwed up, son, and mom's not happy about it.  He hasn't touched the computer since.

But my best moment so far in this Terrible Two's adventure has been "go to your room until you are ready to obey mommy."  As he toddles up the stairs obediently and shuts his door, I think "did that really just happen?!"  Yeah, it did.  And it TOTALLY WORKED!  At a moment when I could not TAKE another whine, fake tear, or obstinate cry I sent him away for fear of losing my temper.  It was my answer to I don't want to damage your soul, but if you're gonna cry...I don't really care to hear it right now. 

My husband tried it again while fighting the all too familiar "take another bite" dinner table game.  We'd had enough.  Carter had his mouth covered with both hands and eyes tightly shut.  You would have thought that chicken casserole was cold chopped liver.  Well, no sense in ruining our dinner..."go to your room until you are ready to eat your dinner."  10 minutes later he is back at the table happily eating while Daniel and I cheer him on. 

My principal once told me that teaching is like a game.  "You just have to learn how to win against the students every day."  If you lose your cool or leave feeling defeated you've lost.  If they leave having done what you asked and learned something in the process you've won. I like to think of parenting in the same way. Yay me for keeping my cool, and for teaching my kid that it's not okay to act like a hooligan.  One victory at a time, right?