The Walking Dead

Do you ever find yourself wanting to punch the person sleeping like a baby(and maybe even snoring)  beside you while you toss and turn in wide-awake misery?

Yeah, it was that kind of night last night. 

I should preface this blog by saying that nighttime sleep and I have never really been friends.  I have always had a hard time falling and staying asleep.  As a child, I would intuitively know when my dad got home from work at 11:30pm.  Like clockwork, most every weeknight, I'd make the zombie walk to the living room recliner to crawl up in his lap and watch something like The History of World War II Fighter Planes until I fell back asleep.-You'd be surprised to know how many war planes I can correctly identify to this day.

As a teen, my mom would find me rearranging or reorganizing my room at midnight.  As a college student...well, let's face it.  No one gets or seems to need a lot of sleep in their early 20's.

However, as a grown arse pregnant woman who has to be up bright and early with a toddler, I would love to have a full night's sleep.  Unfortunately, I can count on one hand the number of times that's happened in the past year.

I've decided that my brain is the most active it can be the few minutes before I fall asleep.  What is my mind so busy doing?  I'll run you through the nightly routine.

1. Checklist: To do-tomorrow, to do-this week, to do-sometime in the near future

2. Worries: How did I screw up my child today?  Do I have cancer? (because it looks like we are all gonna get it at some point, right?) Am I getting enough exercise?  Am I eating right?  Maybe I should try a fruit and vegetable detox.  My face is dry...I need a new moisturizer.  When was the last time I washed my makeup brushes? We have company coming over on Saturday, so I should probably dust and mop downstairs.

3. Pregnancy: I am so uncomfortable. Why does the baby choose to be still all day, then to kick non-stop from 11pm to 1am? I hope I get a good nurse when I go into labor.  How many weeks left?  I wonder if I should try doing it natural this time?  Eh, probably not.  Ok, if Daniel is out of town when I go into labor, first I call Barbara to come and watch Carter.  Then I call Lori to take me to the hospital.  Then I call mom to meet us there.  If Daniel is in town, first I call him...but maybe it will happen while he's at home.  Oh I hope he's at home. 

4. Ridiculousness: Random memories/flashbacks from months or even years ago.  What I SHOULD have said to so-and-so when they made me feel like an idiot.  Zombie epidemic/ Apocalypse evacuation plan (you can never be too prepared). 

5. Solving the World's Problems...usually starts with revamping the Education system and ends with the resolution that a Watson will need to become President for this nation to be restored to greatness.

6. Frustration: Why can't I FALL ASLEEP?!! I am so mad that everyone else is asleep and I'm not.

7. Prayer: Please, Lord help me fall asleep.

8. Contemplate taking medication: should I take some benadryll?  Maybe Tylenol Pm...no.  It's 2 am now, it will take an hour to kick in, so that's 3am.  Then I have to be up with Carter at 7.  That would mean I would need an entire cup of coffee in the morning, which means I don't get to have a coke at lunch.  No medicine it is.

I think I've decided that this kind of checklist is a curse that most grown, responsible women have to bare.  Surely I'm not the only one.  Because that would make me crazy, and that's just not a worry I'm willing to tack on to the rest.  So for now, I guess we can raise our morning coffee cups and toast to the fact that we have a life, a family, and a group of friends to think about at night.  Cheers! 

Mommy Confessions: I've gone soft

I'm not going to lie...some people (and by people I mean my mother) thought I was crazy for putting my newborn on a rigid schedule.  I lived and breathed that schedule for the first year, and it worked for us.  But somewhere along the line...that schedule became less rigid.  And then "less rigid" became "pretty flexible".  And then "pretty flexible" became "whenever I can get him to agree to it."  And all of a sudden, I've lost my power.  I went soft.  I have officially lost all hardcore Type A Mommy street cred.  I've replaced words like "too bad, sucka" with "oh honey, I'm sorry" and the attitude of "because I said so" with "okay...just one more time." If I were in the mob...they'd chop off my little finger and call me Pinkie to remind me that weakness is never an option.  Instead, as a mom...weakness means I'm left with a bratty, tantrum throwing, line crossing, tester of a two year old.  I think I'd prefer to lose a pinkie. Solution:

No more Mrs. Nice Mom...back to the schedule it is.  Oh, you'd like to throw a tantrum? Time outs are back, too.  No questions.  Mobster style.  No mercy.  2 days and counting.  He doesn't even know what hit him.  In bed at 7:30, Cat In the Hat ONE TIME, Sing Adel Weiss ONE TIME and I'm out, son.  "sleep with the fishes"....okay that's a little hardcore.  "Sleep like a baby" is probably more appropriate.  Maybe a little Mrs. Nice Mom is okay. 

Keep On Keepin' On: Potty Training Beyond Day 3

It's been almost two weeks since the 3 Day potty training began, and I must say...the whole experience is better than what I thought it'd be (expect the worst, and maybe you'll be surprised- my motherhood motto).  I've learned that like all other child training, consistancy is key.  We have to celebrate the 23,000th time just as much as we celebrated the 1st time.  This, my friends, requires endless energy.  Accidents still happen (usually when he is distracted by buzz lightyear) which requires endless patience.

He has been at Grandmother's all week while mommy was soaking up sun at the beach, so I had a feeling today would be a doozy.  I was right. 

Not only did I have to remind him that tantrum = spanking (yes, I spank. Get over it, or get on board), I also had to pretend like it was potty training day 1 again.  Watching him like a hawk, and giving him lots of juice so we had lots of oppertunities to go in the potty.  Gummy bears, potty dance, oxy clean, rags. 

We have learned that reading material is helpful to keep Mr. Ninety-miles-a-minute on the pot for longer than 2.5 seconds. 

It never failed...he would have a poo poo accident 5 minutes after getting off the pot.  So, keeping him on a few extra minutes "just to be sure" never hurts. "Max's Halloween" is his favorite right now.  Mommy prefers "Diapers Are Not Forever." Just sayin.

All we can do is keep working toward no accidents.  So here's to a future of countless celebratory dance parties in the bathroom!

You Win Some, You Poo Some: Potty Training Day 2

Well, this morning I walked in to find Carter sitting in a wet bed.  Have I mentioned that I hate Huggies diapers, and that I will always be a hardcore Pampers mom? No, okay...another blog perhaps.  Anyhow, I found this ironic as last night, in bed, after explaining for the 3rd time that yes, Carter will still wear diapers during sleep time my husband says "Aren't we supposed to just let him sleep all night in his own mess if he wets the bed? Didn't I hear that somewhere?" I turn, of course, to laugh in response to his joke only to find that he was, in fact, serious!  Just to be sure, I ask "Are you serious right now?"  "Yeah, I thought I've heard that before." What?! "Um....I think you're getting human potty training confused with canine crate training, dear."  Sigh....

So after dealing with wet sheets and wet clothes, Carter and I resumed Operation Pants Off.  After the optimism of my half cup of coffee set in, I decided that I was going to try and tackle the downstairs cleaning this morning since yesterday, my usual cleaning day, was completely potty focused. I can do this...I was a middle school science lab teacher for goodness sakes.  I can handle a vacuum and pee pee at the same time. 

Skip to an hour later, "Mommy, shoo shoo on tricycle! Oh no!"  Sure enough, right on the seat.  Thankfully it was a clean drop and there was little clean up.  The Radio Flyer carries all kinds of loads around here.  Needless to say, I became a little less vacuum focused and a little more potty focused after that.  The rest of the morning went well, and we managed to get the downstairs pretty spotless.  Score!

Now, the major goal for day 2 of this method is to leave the house or play outside for an hour without having an accident.  I decided to tackle this after nap.  Get this...I get him to go potty before naptime, put him in his diaper, lay him in bed, look him in the eyes and take his hands and say "Carter, we wear a diaper just in case, but we pee pee in the potty now.  So as soon as you wake up you say mommy go pee pee in the potty." He agrees with his usual "okay." Eh...couldn't hurt.  I shrug and walk out.  Almost 3 hours later, over the monitor I hear "Mommy, go pee pee potty."  I run in, we run out and into the bathroom.  I strip off his DRY diaper and put him on the pot to hear the sweat sound of victory.  Dude, my kid just make it through a 3 hour nap without going pee.  Score again!

Heck yes we are goin outside, son!  So, as directed we go to the potty (to connect leaving the house with going potty first) then on go the loose fitting shorts (I guess toddler nudity isn't acceptable outside of the house) and out we go. 

We had one small accident early on, but 2 successful trips after that...so I just stayed out until dinner.  About 2.5 hours.  The fresh air did us both some good, I believe.  Cabin fever was beginning to set it, so I was glad for the sunshine.

I'm glad to say that the bag of gummy bears is dwindling, and our confidence is building.  He is going to Grandma Barbara's tomorrow, so he will continue Day 3 there.  The control freak in me is a little scared, but the pregnant tired woman in me needs a break and a mani pedi. 

What have I learned today?
1. In the words of my good friend Tom, "Let the main thing be the main thing." Sometimes multi-tasking is beneficial to the to-do list but detrimental to everyone else....including the Radio Flyer

The Boy with No Pants: Potty Training Day 1

So at Carter's 2 year checkup, the doctor mentioned potty training.  I nodded my head and pretended that I've thought about starting it soon, when in reality I have been too busy, too scared and too pregnant to think about trying it.  Well, later in the week, I realized that we were out of diaper genie refills.  That was motivation.  That and my husband mentioned that he'd like the current case of diapers to be the last.  Doctor's right...he's a big boy.  Okay, it's go time.

So, after breakfast and a quick run to the nearest gas station for a gallon of milk, lots of juice, and gummy bears(will explain)...it was PANTS OFF!  For Carter, that is.  That's right...a two year old, naked from the waste down.  Most moms with a carpeted home would shudder at the thought, but I'm trying the 3 day method.  I'm a "rip the band-aid" kind of gal.  If I'm gonna do it, let's do it hard core and get it over with as quickly as possible.  So there's no easing into this party.  It's a pants off, pee in the floor a few times before you get it right kind of potty training.  (See this website for a much better explanation)

And pee in the floor he did.  Three times total today.  All of which I was prepared for with a bottle of Oxy carpet cleaner, a wet rag, and patience.  I knew it would happen, it did happen, and then it started to happen IN THE POTTY!  I'm telling you, it's the quickest gratification I think I've had as a mom.  Within an hour and a half, my son was yelling "Pee pee in the potty!" and running "reewy reewy fast" to the bathroom.  Amazing.

I decided a while ago that I am not dealing with that tiny potty that requires dumping and cleaning.  Heck no. So we went the route of the smaller seat that sits on top of the regular toilet seat.  Only problem...my son was scared to sit on the real toilet.  Enter gummy bears.  See he's had an obsession with my gummy prenatal vitamins (yes, I'm a wimp) so I went out on a limb and bought 2 packs of gummy bears.  He's not much of a candy kid so I'm so glad it worked.  When I pulled out the bag he said "okay..." and climbed up on the stool.  He didn't go at first, but didn't cry about sitting on the pot.  Success! 

So he did go after a few tries and we were doing the happy dance in no time!

And flushing (the best part, duh)

This method suggests keeping the diaper on for naps and night time sleep, so I figured that's when he'd do his doo....but again I was surprised! 

The shirt was one of few casualties in today's adventure

He went in for what I thought were a few false alarms, but turns out, he was just workin up the wherewithal to do the dirty! I've never been so proud of crap in my life. 

So what did I learn today?
1. hand sanitizer is much easier than washing hands in the sink every time.  Economy size bottle on the back of the toilet, check.
2. the more he drinks, the more tries and ultimately successes he will have.  Muscle memory of sorts.  Extra juice and milk in the fridge, check.
3. the curious dog is probably not the best indoor guest during Operation Pants Off.  Winston outside, check.
4. go on with life as usual even if he isn't wearing pants.  I can still discipline, play with and let my child on the furniture.  it's okay.

Day 2...here we come!



mirror, mirror on the wall...

Okay, I am writing this post out of sheer frustration and the need to vent to girls who understand.  Last night, I saw that I had been tagged in a friend's photo, and after checking out said picture, I was immediately in a horrible mood.  How, on a night that I thought I looked so cute, could I look so terrible in a photo?!  Why didn't my mirror tell me before I left, "Hey, maybe you should put your hair back, use more eyeshadow, and don't let anyone take a picture from the right side of you...it's officially your bad side." 

Now, I am in my second trimester of pregnancy, so there is a certain lack of motivation to spend a lot of time primping.  However, I've decided I HAVE to try harder.  It is very rare that I step from behind the camera to be in photos, so when I do I need them to look decent. 
So, this morning I woke up, as I usually do after a good night's sleep, with resolve to find a solution.  Must Fix The Problem.  Enter Pinterest, to the rescue!  Hair and makeup tutorials till my bottom is numb from sitting.  Good news is I found Keiko Lynn who has several good tutorials on the same blog.  So in the next few weeks I plan to dust off the curling irons, old make up bags and pull out the eye shadows and eye liners that I have long packed away.  I've never been a huge makeup person, and usually choose a more natural look, but evidence shows that's not working for me in photos anymore.  Hopefully I'll have some looks down by the time my friend Laura comes to take baby bump pics.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Bulldozers and Dumptrucks: Letting Others Do the Heavy Lifting

Carter Is Two Today!!

When my husband suggested having an Edens joint birthday for Carter, my niece Anna, and my Dad (all who were born days apart) I surprised myself and said "okay."  And when my sister-in-law asked if we would want to have a Watson family pool party for Carter's birthday, I again surprised myself and said "yes!"  So not only are both sides of our family celebrating, but I'm not hosting either of the parties!  I'm not sure whether this was made possible by the fact that I'm pregnant and just too tired to argue, or the fact that the rig-a-ma-role of his first birthday is still fresh in my memory, but either way...I'm glad I gave in and let someone else help.  Now, I will say that this new easy going spirit had to give a half-time pep talk to the controlling, type A obsessive mother after she spent an afternoon on Pinterest.  "I know, Heather...these are great ideas.  I know, you could do them just as well for Carter's birthday.  Yep...that's right...you'd even do them better.  But remember what we decided? Someone else is taking care of that.  Back awaaaay from the computer."  And later had to give another pep talk after controlling, type A obsessive mother was reminded by her husband that we only have, at most, 16 more fun birthdays to throw for our first son.  "I know, Heather...16 seems like so few, but you'll have at least one more child so that's 18 more for a total of 34 more fun birthdays to plan and execute. See?  That's not so bad." 

So no....I didn't make my son's second birthday cake, but look how GREAT it turned out! My sister in law got to show off her cake decorating skills, and I got to enjoy just showing up to eat it.  Thanks Aunt Tracy!

I couldn't have asked for a better party or a better day, for that matter.  I started my day singing happy birthday to Carter while he was eating his breakfast, and yes, I cried.  But I was okay with it.  Just took in how much he's grown, how much I've grown because of him, and how much more we have to look forward to. 

We decided to do an easy crockpot fajita lunch that I prepared the day before so we packed all that up and headed over to Aunt Tracy and Uncle Neil's house.  They just got a new pool put in, so we were all excited to swim and enjoy their new backyard addition. 

It was kind of like a family stay-cation for me.  All day by the pool, good easy food, and the people we love.  We swam a little, ate a little, cut the cake, put Carter down for a nap, swam some more, and when we were all completely baked...went home.  Other than the few times I picked up the camera to take some shots...I literally just sat around and enjoyed everyone else enjoying my son.  There were no guests to entertain, no questions to answer, no toilets to clean before hand, no clean up to do afterward.  I traded sunscreen for makeup, wet hair for the flat iron, and "go ahead" for "let me take care of that."  It was one of the most special days...and I didn't have to plan it to be that way.  It just was.  So, point taken, free spirited alter ego. You win....today.