5 Things Only Moms Know

1. Applejacks and/or Fruitloops go in the bowl with milk as an air-puffed cereal, but appear later dried and adhered to flat surfaces as a shriveled shrunken version of itself.

2.  Cartoons, no matter how "educational" they claim to be, will never be rational.  ie-2 year old Max will always outsmart 5 year old Ruby.  If Ruby would learn to listen to Max the first time he speaks, she'd save herself a lot of trouble.

 Dino Dan's friends and family are enablers.  He clearly needs an imaginary dinosaur intervention. 

No, Diego, magical mermaids {or the "heroes of the sea" as you'd like to call them} were not once manatees, and I've never been able to fit a life boat in any bag or carry-on.

3.  Mom's bed is no longer just a bed.  It is the family room, the office, the conference room, the hospital, the breakfast, lunch, and dinner table, the movie theater, the laundry folding table and the gymnasium.

4.  When looking for misplaced items such as a remote, cell phone, or car keys, always search from bottom to top.  Never top to bottom.  This is a bi product of living with short people.  First, scan the floor of each room-most will stop after this step because said item will be tripped over or stepped on. Second, look under the furniture...even unrollable objects seem to magically roll themselves right out of sight.  Third, check in or around toy boxes and lower kitchen & bathroom cabinets. Fourth, lift couch cushions and pull back bedspreads.  So on and so on.  You get the idea.

5.  The gelatinous insides of an exploded diaper are much easier to vacuum/wipe up after having a minimum of 2 hours to dry.  But let's be real...who's gonna remember it's still there in 2 hours?