Keeping The Peace

I'm not gonna lie, there was a time when my temper could have been described as "backwoods."  One wrong look and I'd ask what exactly it is that you are staring at and if you'd like to take a picture.  I vaguely remember being the cause of an afternoon run to the E.R. because my brother needed stitches.  But honestly, be it age or be it experience, I've learned to laugh things off.  I rarely take myself seriously, much less the words of others.  But it seems that lately, my sense of humor is being tested. 
Do you ever have a day when you wish you had a free pass to say or do whatever you wanted?  It's that kind of week for me.  What I'd really like to say to said person is "how about you back up ten feet before speaking with me so that I'm not tempted to break your face with my elbow." or "what if you take those awful words back, and instead tell me 3 things that you love about me so that we can all recognize how freakin fabulous I am." or "yeah, nice to see you too, a-hole." or "don't mind me.  I'm just a human with a soul" or "don't worry about it.  I'll be the adult here since you obviously weren't going to take that route."
What stops me every time is the notion that most people, including me, aren't always aware of their tone, timing, or straight up lack of common decency.  I give most people the benefit of the doubt...sometimes to a fault.  And at the end of the day, I'll take the blow because honestly, I know I can handle it.  Probably better than most.  I know I'm an amazing mom, a thoughtful daughter, a supportive sister, a beautiful wife, a loyal friend, and overall an enjoyable person to be around.  So suckas can't get me down...and they definitely won't cause me to tarnish my Educated Citizen status.  Because reacting would give them what they want, and I'm not about to give them the satisfaction. 

Also, I'd hate for my children to have to speak to me from the other side of a prison cell.