"Me" Time

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

I found this quote shortly after I gave birth to my son, Carter.  It gave me peace to know that it's okay if I don't have all the answers or make a few mistakes.  Because, after all, as a mother...I'm as new to this world as my child is.  And while being a mom has given me hope and joy that nothing else ever could have, it is a challenging road to tread.  That child, right out of the womb, may as well have had WARNING labels printed all over him. Some might have read: "WARNING-the first 4 months are sleepless and thereby putting you on edge 24 hours a day. Your patience will run out, your temper will flare, and tears are inevitable", "WARNING- the entire world is hazardous to this baby, so try not to kill him" or "WARNING-you are no longer the center of your own world and will temporarily lose your mind and therefore lose yourself indefinitely"
Some mothers aren't prepared for or willing to heed these warnings...but I'm a pretty practical gal and assumed the worst when I found out I was pregnant.  It was a bit of a surprise, and I wasn't prepared to rearrange my own plans just yet.  However, there was no turning back...so I mourned my old life for 9 months.  I had no delusions that this would be easy, but I assumed at some point, I would pick up life where I left it post-pardum.  This is where I was wrong.  Little did I know that when Carter Stone was born, Heather Michelle was reborn.  Everything I knew before was useless in this new world.  I had fresh new skin and everything penetrated it in a whole new way. Time itself even changed.  The conventional hours of a day no longer applied. I now operated on a 2 hour schedule.  I began to eat, breathe, feed and sleep 2 hours at a time. I restructured my existing life around this schedule, and somehow managed to take most things in stride.
Slowly I began to work parts of my old life into my new one, one piece at a time.  Happy hour with friends-I'll take that.  Fitting into my size 4 jeans again-I'll take that.  Staying out all hours of the night- I'll leave that, thank you very much.  One by one, I've been sorting through those pieces...taking some and leaving others.  I think the most important piece I chose to take was for myself- 2 days a week.  That's right...Carter goes to my mother-in-law's 2 days out of every week.  I don't feel bad about it, I lose no sleep over it, and I look forward to it.  I usually take him on Wednesday morning and he comes back on Thursday evening.  Which means I get a weekly date-night with my husband, a morning to sleep in...or not...whatever I decide.  I get 2 days when things happen on my own terms.  I run on no schedule but my own.  These 2 days actually came as a solution to a problem.  See, we had hired my mother-in-law to watch Carter during the day while I worked.  When we decided that I would stay home (that blog to follow soon) she still wanted to see him regularly.  At first, I didn't think I'd need it every week.  It seemed a little excessive, but it later became essential.  It might sound silly, but those 2 days have helped me find myself again.  I am a better mother, a better wife, and a better friend because of my 2 days. 
So I encourage all mothers to take some time!  It may not be 2 days...it may only be 20 minutes in the bath tub...but take it!  All women need time to hear themselves.  To know who we are in this new skin we wear.